Download mp3 - ffoon and the valedictorian : Adam Sandler
“And
now the buffoon’s date at the drive-in with the school’s valedictorian.”
Valedictorian:
“I really appreciate you’re asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my
high academic achievement.”
Buffoon:
“This movie sucks shit!”
Valedictorian:
“Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up, but Ciscel thought it was too preachy. Anyway, I
enjoyed the director’s last film immensly.”
Buffoon:
“Cathleen Turner has big fuckin’ tits!”
Valedictorian:
“Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her maternal biology may play a
role in that. She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn’t she?”
Buffoon: “I
put a firecracker in a bullfrog’s mouth and blew his fuckin’ head off.”
Valedictorian:
“Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for male adolescents to
commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process.”
Buffoon:
“That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head.”
Valedictorian:
“Well, I guess she’s strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only
way to obtain it.”
[Buffoon
eating popcorn]
Buffoon: “This popcorn’s fuckin’ terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all
over it.”
[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]
Valedictorian:
“Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. Perhaps the
staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by the monotony of their work and
decided to play a childish prank.”
Buffoon: “I
looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin’ mind!”
Valedictorian:
“It’s ironic that parts of one’s body seems odd and unusual because you don’t
see them on a day to day basis.
Buffoon:
“My father’s shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin’ day!”
Valedictorian:
“It’s puzzling why one person’s fecal odor can be more overpowering than
another’s. I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that
person’s internal metabolism.”
Buffoon:
“I’m gonna go get head from that fuckin’ girl.”
[Gets out of the car]
Valedictorian:
“Well, I’m sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion.”
[Buffoon walking away]
“I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future
rondevue.”
Buffoon: “I
like to piss in that guy’s fuckin’ gas tank!”
Valedictorian:
“Bye bye! Have fun.”
[Buffoon continues to walk away]
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