A fine romance, my good fellow
You take romance, I’ll take jello
You’re calmer than the seals in the Artic Ocean
At least they flap their fins to express emotion
A fine romance with no quarrels
with no insults and all morals
I’ve never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants
I never get the chance
This is a fine romance
A fine romance with no kisses
A find romance, my friend this is
To lack half the thrills that a healthy crime has
We don’t have half the thrills that the march of time has
A fine romance with no clinches
A fine romance with no flinches
You’re just as hard to land as the Ille de France
I haven’t got a chance
My heart isn’t made of plastic
You’re too sarcastic
This is a fine romance
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